February 22, 2008. "Untouchable"

You said you wouldn't lie,
I guess that the bar for that's too high,
because she's untouchable.

You had to lie to save your pride,
Now what you feel, you have to hide,
because she's untouchable.

Every time you look in her eyes, you have your dreams,
To act them out would tear your bonds at the seams,
because she's untouchable.

You've seen the perfect moment come and go so much,
But she'll be gone forever if both of your lips touch,
because she's untouchable.

So here you lie tonight, she's all that's on your mind,
In your mind - that's where the limit's been defined,
because she's untouchable.

February 17, 2008 "Question the Paradox."

The days my eyes turn black,
The days the skies turn gray,
The days the ice will never melt,
The days the rain will never stop,
Those are the days I think of you.

I've never turned my back on anything,
Been betrayed but never backstabbed,
I've always seen it coming.
The sky will rain ash,
The lakes turn to fire,
But you'll never stop me.

You're in the way of all I need.

I'm in the background,
Changing everything before you,
And you won't notice till it's too late.

Yes, I'm destroying you. It's that simple.
But you'll never see it coming, it's right in front of you.
I'm making you and breaking you together.

You refused to break me when I asked you to.
I needed it. You argued.
Now I've lost everything, because I kept going the way I was.

It's almost simple, it's almost easy.
Just write myself off to someone else,
do for them what I couldn't do for myself.
But no one I find that it'd be worth it to do that for
Can allow me to do that for them.

I wish I could just change the world one time,
To make things fit the way I wish they would,
To show someone, just once, the person I could
Become for them, to make both sides happy again.

But I'll never get that chance, I can't seem to act at the right times,
Even as I write this, unable to find any relevant rhymes,
To help me get my point across.

I don't know how to convince someone to trust me that much,
When I can't give them an example of what's in store,
If I tried, it wouldn't be true.

Where's the answer?

February 15, 2008, "Formless System"

Hiding because of being hurt before
Fearing to share what I have stored...

I'm just locking it up, putting it away.

This, the first note,
Of the longest scavenger hunt.

I can't bring myself to do it.

I wonder, how long can I hide it?
Before it's found, before it's brought out?

Will they even bother to search?

If they do, it's only a matter of time.

Good thing I'm holding the key, and I'll know when it's the right time to hand that over.

But will the time ever come?

Will they ever be ready?

If history holds true, then no.

But history has not held true so far.

I wonder if they'll read this.

I wonder if they'll understand it.

I wonder if they'll approach me about it.

I wonder if they'll be right.

I wonder, most of all, if they'll do something about it.

And you know what?

I doubt it.

2007, Karmaic Regret

Let it be known

This mistake is my own.

Trusting you -

I'm a fool.

Forgetting you -

That's the rule.

The same excuses -

All heard before.

Fate muses -

But a heart is torn.

But fate just might

Have this all set right.

Barbed wire to twist tight

'Round your heart in the night.

Fate may make your heart deprived

Of the love you've for so long strived

May take your love and turn it black

Liquid, running, falling through the cracks.

Or maybe that's wrong.

Maybe I've erred.

Maybe being strong

Has my thoughts impaired.

Maybe fate avenges one

A past of mine long said and done

Maybe this misery and pain

Is the only bleach to clean the stain

Of how I've treated people from the past

Maybe I'm to be - to the last -

Alone, afraid, and empty inside

To suffer this way to the end of time.

2005, Hinges

A shed door sits outside

Hasn't been opened in some time

Covered in moss from years of rain

It smells somewhat of high tide.

You go out to the backyard

Armed your garden tools

To remove moss, rock hard

You've made the error of prior fools.

The hinges seem rusted

And covered with lime

The bolts seeming crusted

Through great lengths of time.

A door long forgotten

With life's menial tasks

A friend long forgotten

With an ex-wife's many masks.

With the manipulator discharged

The lock reveals itself

Shiny, new, and unharmed

And you think to yourself...

"How could this be?"

As you insert the key

The hinges creak and the door swings ajar,

And a previous life you find again.

A voice speaks from inside

"Is that you, old friend?"

The voice sounds raspy, as if trying to hide

"Yes, it is, may I come inside?"

An old friend,

pushed aside by lust

their care for you never did end,

and the moss comes off with your newfound trust.

2005, Shadow Master

Fires unclean

Can only be seen

By those with a heavy heart

Inside

Their own mind

A cleansing flame blown out in the

Wind

Of letting others win

Over what they say and how they start to

Act

Not on their own track

Not able to be free from another enemy

Attack

Looking out from the

Ash

Troubled minds seek to

Clash

With the

Thought

Of their own

Distraught

Ways and ideas brought about by them being

Caught

In a web of

Confusion

Unable to escape from their

Delusion

Deep in the shadows

Where the last of our delusions make their stand

I'll save you from the shadows

If you want to win this battle take my hand.

If you can understand

Where I stand

Then take my hand and you will find the strength you

Can

Take over this fight

Turn the tides

Don't give up on what you see as

Right

Don't look back

You've gotten this far to finding out the secret

Don't look back

It'll only lead you

Straight back to yesterday...

Deep in the shadows

Where the last of our delusions make their stand

I'll save you from the shadows

If you want to win just take my hand.

You're far from the light now,

There's no turning back now,

Get ready to fight now,

Here comes insanity for one last stand.

Don't blame yourself for sin

And you will win

The battle against yourself

The revolution in your mind

Life is a mystery

Not the same history

Pull up the riddles of your mind

And with time they will unwind.

February 12, 2008 Pitch Black Prison

They see me as a cocoon,
Hanging so beautiful and precious
Afraid, though, to take me down
For fear of unfinished changes
They admire me as they pass by
Amazed by the colors and complex design
Not a single one questioning why
Why I've yet to escape from where I'm confined.

All it would take to release me from here
Is for someone to finally see things clear
To see that this cocoon is in face just a shell
One which contains me in my personal hell
Within which I slowly suffocate inside
Killing off the emotions which I wish to hide.

At this point I'm inhuman,
Swallowed by complexity, unable to see reality.

This prison was not a choice
To be trapped here with no voice
"I'll love you to death.", my last audible cry
As if to prove it, I'm left here to die.

Someone, anyone, cut me down and take me out
Believe in me with zero doubt
I'll try to prove to be the one
You've always dreamed of, and far beyond.

February 11, 2008. "Yours Gone As Well As Mine"

Your words, which I once chose to be my guides,

Have now become worthless, and nothing but lies.

Your eyes, which before were so caring and warm,

Now strike with the sting of a thousand bee swarm.

Your hands, before such a comforting touch,

Now cold and lifeless with no sense of trust.

Your smile used to shine like a beacon of light,

Now wickedly glows as a wolf’s teeth in the night.

Your heart, once innocent and so full of trust,

But a downpour of lies has caused it to rust.

Our love, which we thought would help us both mend,

Now leaves us bitter, enraged till the end.

My heart, which once did belong to you,

Now cannot see what’s false and what’s true.

My smile, the one you brought to my face each day,

Now turns to indifference, and is faded away.

My hands, once warm has you held them through the days,

Now cold and bleeding as I navigate life’s maze.

My eyes, once bright and vibrant with life,

Now darkened voids while filled with this strife.

My words, their meaning was for your ears to gauge,

Now can only exist as the ink on this page...

February 11, 2008. "Anti-Perfection"

Why

Why am I

Why am I expected

To do these impossible tasks.

This

This indecision

This indecision keeps me frozen

Unable to take a step from this track.

And all the while you see me here,

Screaming the words that only you hear,

You say you'll be ready at an impossible time,

That when you open your eyes, I should open mine.

You know I won't see it, you know I'll be blind

And you'll find someone else within that time

To you I'm your backup, if the now falls apart

You know that it's wrong, but you don't have the heart

To admit that I'm the one you wanted this time,

But all your friends made it into some sort of crime,

To give us the chance, that you still desire,

As if to care for me is to be set afire...

So this is the anthem to those that ran from me,

Those who ignored me and tried to destroy me,

You think that by running, you'll finally be rid of me,

But forever you'll carry the memory of me.

Cause what you have now, you know I was better,

And as you read this, every line, every letter,

A part of you dies, knowing it's true,

That you threw away what could have been perfect for you...

February 11, 2008. "Ashen Fight"

My skin may be burned to ash, my bones used charcoal, and the land around me still burning and hot with fire, but it still stands, ready to fight you, ready to die. There will be no surrender. My shield may crack, my sword may break, but still I will fight the world until either I die or I destroy all the evil it can send at me. I stand alone, with no ally behind me, no reinforcements to call, no apprentices to take over when I pass on, and no one fighting beside me. And still, nothing you attack me with will kill me. You could burn me till my very breath turns to smoke, but I shall not give up my fight against you.