The fire in my eyes burning hotter than plasmatic magma,
How my icy stare stays intact, some see as the enigma,
Those who believe that are lost within my mind,
Amazed by its intricacy, though still raw and unrefined,
Wondering how a scene as striking as this could be designed
By someone so young, with so little effort, and so little time.
The cyclonic destruction left in my wake
Looks like the aftermath of an earthquake,
Decimating those who claimed I'd never make it,
Annihilating those who attempt to break it,
Crippling those who decide to forsake it,
And eliminating those who believe they can take it.
Those who wish to observe are prepared,
Those who admire this life aren't scared,
Do not interfere and know they'll be spared,
Let it exist and stand back and stare,
Realize this calculated chaos is rare.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
"He Who Finished Last, Saw The Most" March 28th, 2009
I lay here asleep, but awake,
Lying in a quiet chaos
That only the insincere can hear,
Those who falsely claim to trust my mind,
Those who are young yet race against time,
Racing for stability in a fluid setting,
Not realizing the simple joys they're letting
Pass them by.
Living by their superficial standards,
Striving for their social standings,
While all around them their life is flying,
All the while wasting life trying
To keep it all contained.
There's no grade for us
When all is said and done,
All our work will die with us,
When our time has come,
Except our impact on those who'll follow,
The young who watch all our steps,
Will we show them a life that's hollow,
Or bring contentment to all their steps?
Lying in a quiet chaos
That only the insincere can hear,
Those who falsely claim to trust my mind,
Those who are young yet race against time,
Racing for stability in a fluid setting,
Not realizing the simple joys they're letting
Pass them by.
Living by their superficial standards,
Striving for their social standings,
While all around them their life is flying,
All the while wasting life trying
To keep it all contained.
There's no grade for us
When all is said and done,
All our work will die with us,
When our time has come,
Except our impact on those who'll follow,
The young who watch all our steps,
Will we show them a life that's hollow,
Or bring contentment to all their steps?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Vertex Form - March 12th, 2009
For those curious about the title of this post, yes, it's a math joke, because this post is not in standard form, and if we are discussing quadratics, then it must be in vertex form.
For some, this is a warning, for others, an explanation, and for the rest, something nigh-incomprehensible.
The fire in my eyes right now is a good thing. Don't try to limit, or extinguish, or contain it. Doing so is only going to hurt both sides. I have places to go, things to drive towards, and what you perceive as anger is simply intensity being my motivation towards these goals. Those of you who have not experienced this sort of feeling will never fully understand it, but I expect you to respect me as I pursue it.
I've stayed patient and found things I need to work towards, and come April, there's not going to be anything - or anyone - holding me back. I'm currently shedding those who I feel are bringing my progress back, and I'm pretty sure there's none left to get rid of. Those who couldn't - no. Those who REFUSED to understand my words have been removed. I tolerated you long enough and don't feel anything more needs to be said.
With that said (COUGH EXCUSE THE PUN COUGH), I've settled pretty much every ghost that was still around. There's a couple that will always be around, but those are irremovable. Right now I have today and the future to focus on, and when I'm presented opportunities to look back to these past events, I will do so in an objective manner. In order to do that, I need to let them die for a bit and let the bias of the situation fade with it. Learning subjectively can be faulty and fatal, and I intend to avoid that with these most recent lessons.
So yes, this is a rant.
No, it doesn't make sense. Was it supposed to?
No, it wasn't.
It's more a statement to myself, and at the same time, a statement to all - the motivation is returning, and to quote Operation:Mindcrime...
"Gonna make this city bleed."
Obviously, the quote isn't meant in the same context. I do have two more, the first of which has just been throwing me a new perspective on things - not changing everything, but giving me a new lens...
"The art of life is, without rushing, without faltering, unraveling the secrets of knowledge, we must defeat and conquer our four natural enemies - fear, clarity, power, and the desire to rest."
And the third being one which usually gets my head back up after I've screwed something up.
"Time and time again we fall into the depths of who we are, but you can't keep running away from what you're trying to find."
The rant is done, now it's the ramble.
I came up with a new concept this week - the Paradoxymoron. Good Grief, for example, falls under this category. Sometimes we have to undergo grief in order to obtain experience - thus being the good. Common knowledge dubs this an oxymoron - but it cannot be because situations exist where the grief is good. See? Paradoxymoron.
Aww hell, that makes no sense. I guess I'm the Paradoofus.
Well, I'm heading to sleep. It's been an awfully odd month so far. And it's only going to get stranger.
For some, this is a warning, for others, an explanation, and for the rest, something nigh-incomprehensible.
The fire in my eyes right now is a good thing. Don't try to limit, or extinguish, or contain it. Doing so is only going to hurt both sides. I have places to go, things to drive towards, and what you perceive as anger is simply intensity being my motivation towards these goals. Those of you who have not experienced this sort of feeling will never fully understand it, but I expect you to respect me as I pursue it.
I've stayed patient and found things I need to work towards, and come April, there's not going to be anything - or anyone - holding me back. I'm currently shedding those who I feel are bringing my progress back, and I'm pretty sure there's none left to get rid of. Those who couldn't - no. Those who REFUSED to understand my words have been removed. I tolerated you long enough and don't feel anything more needs to be said.
With that said (COUGH EXCUSE THE PUN COUGH), I've settled pretty much every ghost that was still around. There's a couple that will always be around, but those are irremovable. Right now I have today and the future to focus on, and when I'm presented opportunities to look back to these past events, I will do so in an objective manner. In order to do that, I need to let them die for a bit and let the bias of the situation fade with it. Learning subjectively can be faulty and fatal, and I intend to avoid that with these most recent lessons.
So yes, this is a rant.
No, it doesn't make sense. Was it supposed to?
No, it wasn't.
It's more a statement to myself, and at the same time, a statement to all - the motivation is returning, and to quote Operation:Mindcrime...
"Gonna make this city bleed."
Obviously, the quote isn't meant in the same context. I do have two more, the first of which has just been throwing me a new perspective on things - not changing everything, but giving me a new lens...
"The art of life is, without rushing, without faltering, unraveling the secrets of knowledge, we must defeat and conquer our four natural enemies - fear, clarity, power, and the desire to rest."
And the third being one which usually gets my head back up after I've screwed something up.
"Time and time again we fall into the depths of who we are, but you can't keep running away from what you're trying to find."
The rant is done, now it's the ramble.
I came up with a new concept this week - the Paradoxymoron. Good Grief, for example, falls under this category. Sometimes we have to undergo grief in order to obtain experience - thus being the good. Common knowledge dubs this an oxymoron - but it cannot be because situations exist where the grief is good. See? Paradoxymoron.
Aww hell, that makes no sense. I guess I'm the Paradoofus.
Well, I'm heading to sleep. It's been an awfully odd month so far. And it's only going to get stranger.
Monday, March 2, 2009
"Rain", March 2nd, 2009
Note: By this reasoning, apparently we should all look up to meteorologists as the wisest people in our society.
The inexperienced fool sprints out in the rain
Then asks people as he runs why he's wet,
And everyone he asks believes he is insane.
The second time he might look outside to see if it is raining,
When it is, he elects to stay inside,
When asked to come outside, he chooses to abstain.
But one day he must leave in the rain again,
Now he's prepared with an umbrella,
While more of the world's fools praise him as a wise man.
But the man is still a fool, for he is out in the storm,
While the wise men have known the rain was approaching -
And have left for the day to a town which is clear and warm.
The inexperienced fool sprints out in the rain
Then asks people as he runs why he's wet,
And everyone he asks believes he is insane.
The second time he might look outside to see if it is raining,
When it is, he elects to stay inside,
When asked to come outside, he chooses to abstain.
But one day he must leave in the rain again,
Now he's prepared with an umbrella,
While more of the world's fools praise him as a wise man.
But the man is still a fool, for he is out in the storm,
While the wise men have known the rain was approaching -
And have left for the day to a town which is clear and warm.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
"Observation Theory" February 28, 2009
This is unfinished. I'm posting because it has been a month. I don't know which direction to take this...which possibly is turning into a metaphor for a lot of situations lately. I think I need to wait and see where things are going to go with both this and different aspects of life. Sometimes, one can only go so far until an environment allows further progression.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll observe the world through tearless retinas,
Recording information with every step I take,
Then sit alone at night and analyze the data,
Comprehending lives for understanding's sake,
Others may critique my lack of enjoyment of the world,
Fail to fathom why I live without self-gratitude,
When someone finally has my twisted mind uncurled,
They'll find the origins of this knowledge pursuing attitude.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll observe the world through tearless retinas,
Recording information with every step I take,
Then sit alone at night and analyze the data,
Comprehending lives for understanding's sake,
Others may critique my lack of enjoyment of the world,
Fail to fathom why I live without self-gratitude,
When someone finally has my twisted mind uncurled,
They'll find the origins of this knowledge pursuing attitude.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
"Transparent Quicksand", January 25th, 2009
It's a place with no location,
A word with no definition,
This concept which has me in such a difficult position,
What do you follow when you have no intuition?
The sky spells the future the way that only the stars know,
While the past is reflected as it crashes in the waves below,
While in the present I sink deeper in this quicksand beach,
Able to be heard and seen but constantly out of reach.
Slowly fading with nothing to fight for,
No reason to try if I'm not in the right war,
Wish there was something to set my sights on,
But there's nothing to see when all of the light's gone.
So find me something to search for in this hole,
Something for me to find as my goal,
That when I reach it I'll be able to breathe again,
Give me that target if you want to see me smile again.
My intensity will lead me to my destiny,
Won't let their density get the best of me,
Just because they can't understand where I stand,
Won't make me waste my time explaining the rhymes.
Don't stand in my way, I'll break through you with no remorse,
Simply allow my tenacity to run its course,
Run alongside me if you want to stay around,
Because unless you're in my sight, I won't hear a sound.
The heat from my stare turns all obstacles to glass,
Shattering to the floor once I'm an unstoppable mass,
So stay clear or the remnants will cut you deep,
Unless you can somehow keep up with my speed.
A word with no definition,
This concept which has me in such a difficult position,
What do you follow when you have no intuition?
The sky spells the future the way that only the stars know,
While the past is reflected as it crashes in the waves below,
While in the present I sink deeper in this quicksand beach,
Able to be heard and seen but constantly out of reach.
Slowly fading with nothing to fight for,
No reason to try if I'm not in the right war,
Wish there was something to set my sights on,
But there's nothing to see when all of the light's gone.
So find me something to search for in this hole,
Something for me to find as my goal,
That when I reach it I'll be able to breathe again,
Give me that target if you want to see me smile again.
My intensity will lead me to my destiny,
Won't let their density get the best of me,
Just because they can't understand where I stand,
Won't make me waste my time explaining the rhymes.
Don't stand in my way, I'll break through you with no remorse,
Simply allow my tenacity to run its course,
Run alongside me if you want to stay around,
Because unless you're in my sight, I won't hear a sound.
The heat from my stare turns all obstacles to glass,
Shattering to the floor once I'm an unstoppable mass,
So stay clear or the remnants will cut you deep,
Unless you can somehow keep up with my speed.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
"Electric Spider", December 19th, 2008
The spider - the most honest of beings, but the most misunderstood,
By a world with eyes untrained to comprehend their intricacies,
Distorted views paint them as the symbol of lies -
An excuse for the world's failure to see their designs.
The spider harms none but the being who threatens it,
Consumes only those who trespass against it,
For their web is not a trap, but is simply their residence,
Responding the same way that a human thwarts an unwanted presence.
Some have said I am comparable to this creature,
My personality developing its more prominent features,
Becoming entwined in the complex web that they could not understand,
Which could have been avoided by not disturbing the strands.
However, I've also been named as a lightning storm, in the sense
That my destructive powers occasionally strike innocence,
That the beautiful chaos which my actions exude,
Does not have control over whom I exclude.
When they're combined, these two labels of mine,
They create the most complex and dangerous design,
One which is pure and destructive at the same time,
Much like the best tasting, most aromatic, but poisonous wine.
The spider cannot be killed, no force can injure it,
Water would fail to even defuse it,
It's complex designs leaving no way to confuse it,
Due to this, the world tries to refuse it.
The spider will never know companionship,
Until approached by the one who is insulated,
Understands the web's power to ensure they are prepared,
Only then will the spider's residence be shared.
By a world with eyes untrained to comprehend their intricacies,
Distorted views paint them as the symbol of lies -
An excuse for the world's failure to see their designs.
The spider harms none but the being who threatens it,
Consumes only those who trespass against it,
For their web is not a trap, but is simply their residence,
Responding the same way that a human thwarts an unwanted presence.
Some have said I am comparable to this creature,
My personality developing its more prominent features,
Becoming entwined in the complex web that they could not understand,
Which could have been avoided by not disturbing the strands.
However, I've also been named as a lightning storm, in the sense
That my destructive powers occasionally strike innocence,
That the beautiful chaos which my actions exude,
Does not have control over whom I exclude.
When they're combined, these two labels of mine,
They create the most complex and dangerous design,
One which is pure and destructive at the same time,
Much like the best tasting, most aromatic, but poisonous wine.
The spider cannot be killed, no force can injure it,
Water would fail to even defuse it,
It's complex designs leaving no way to confuse it,
Due to this, the world tries to refuse it.
The spider will never know companionship,
Until approached by the one who is insulated,
Understands the web's power to ensure they are prepared,
Only then will the spider's residence be shared.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
"Six Verses Under", December 11th, 2008
Everything around is so violent,
I'll just be staying silent,
Let the hurricane run it's course,
Go with the grain, not try to force
My endless will upon the way I wish it was.
Things just aren't meant for me,
For my world to be how I wished it'd be,
In the past I pursued things so recklessly,
Then walked away dejectedly
When it all came crashing down in chaos.
So now I'm done even trying, done with the fight,
Done trying to make things seemingly alright,
Go back to the secretive life I always lead,
Finished being open and letting them see
The person that I was, am, and soon will be.
Been holding together, someone remind me
Why I've been hoping that someone would find me
Instead of just using me to take all their blame,
Sick of being used as the pawn in their game
Of chess that won't end till they remember my name.
It's not important, it doesn't matter
To them if I hold together or if I shatter,
Day by day I've been wasting my time,
Pouring these words out in meaningless rhymes,
And this next verse is the end of the line.
So tonight is the last time I pick up the pen
That's been laying on the desk in my head
Knowing the lines on this page will never be read,
Find somewhere else to put my focus instead,
And now with these words, this craft becomes dead.
I'll just be staying silent,
Let the hurricane run it's course,
Go with the grain, not try to force
My endless will upon the way I wish it was.
Things just aren't meant for me,
For my world to be how I wished it'd be,
In the past I pursued things so recklessly,
Then walked away dejectedly
When it all came crashing down in chaos.
So now I'm done even trying, done with the fight,
Done trying to make things seemingly alright,
Go back to the secretive life I always lead,
Finished being open and letting them see
The person that I was, am, and soon will be.
Been holding together, someone remind me
Why I've been hoping that someone would find me
Instead of just using me to take all their blame,
Sick of being used as the pawn in their game
Of chess that won't end till they remember my name.
It's not important, it doesn't matter
To them if I hold together or if I shatter,
Day by day I've been wasting my time,
Pouring these words out in meaningless rhymes,
And this next verse is the end of the line.
So tonight is the last time I pick up the pen
That's been laying on the desk in my head
Knowing the lines on this page will never be read,
Find somewhere else to put my focus instead,
And now with these words, this craft becomes dead.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
"Risk/Reward", November 30th, 2008
I almost chose not to post this. I'm still on the fence as to leaving it up here. I might take it down soon, I'm not sure.
Time to face it,
I can't erase it,
Can't escape it just in case it
Starts to encase me as I retrace it,
The steps I took to try to replace it,
No reasons for me on which to base it,
The decision on where I've chosen to place it,
Time to sit back and see how far this person takes it.
There's no way out, no running away,
No turning around and finding yesterday,
The concrete defenses, I'll turn them to clay,
Not gonna calculate each word that I say,
Just to set up a place where they'd choose to stay,
Let them decide if there's any way
To believe that my past is not my today.
Time to face it,
I can't erase it,
Can't escape it just in case it
Starts to encase me as I retrace it,
The steps I took to try to replace it,
No reasons for me on which to base it,
The decision on where I've chosen to place it,
Time to sit back and see how far this person takes it.
There's no way out, no running away,
No turning around and finding yesterday,
The concrete defenses, I'll turn them to clay,
Not gonna calculate each word that I say,
Just to set up a place where they'd choose to stay,
Let them decide if there's any way
To believe that my past is not my today.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
This post is one which is quite...unique.
I've decided to do nothing but write, starting now, about anyone whose name pops into my head.
I won't name who it is. Feel free to find me on AIM (sixpackreich) if you think a verse pertains to you, or if you are curious who a specific verse pertains to. There are no secrets.
Read on.
For two years I considered you my closest friend,
I believed that the bond between us couldn't break or bend,
Little did I know this is how it would end,
I really don't know just how you intend
To fend for yourself, without me to lend
An ear or a thought, or the time that I'd spend,
Or the hand I'd extend to just try to amend
The issues between us, the one I called "friend."
In much less time, another has come and done the same,
Turned around and left just the way she came,
Disappeared during the chaos when I was putting out the flames
Of a side of me that I never bothered to label with a name,
Thought everything I did was just a sick part of a game,
Believed I was wild, when all I did was collected and tame,
Maybe one day she'll figure out that I'm not the one to blame,
Unimportant are their names - to me they're both the same.
Even quicker than those before, this one left her mark on my heart,
Should have known it was a disaster from the start,
Fell under the false notion that she'd understand my art,
Within just a few months our ways would part,
Just as her emotions turned, so will this verse,
Even though the words she chose were cold and terse,
They're not even close to the pain from what's worse -
The fact that it was those words in which I immersed.
I'm able to move on from these without a single tear,
Because of the lessons learned from a guide through the years,
Never letting me turn and run, pushing me to face the fears,
But never chose to interfere, to take the wheel and steer,
When words fell on deaf ears, this one would still hear,
Without them, life would not have led me here,
Always meaning in their words, even if at first not clear,
Contain most of the concepts in life which I still hope to mirror.
Another face has joined the picture in recent times,
One whom I hope finds the hidden meaning in these rhymes,
Regardless of how little I know of the mind behind those eyes,
I'm willing to risk the chance that what I've seen is a disguise,
And no matter how many times I'm told it's unwise,
Ignoring the amount of logic this decision defies,
I'll answer all questions, with nothing hidden, when they arise,
Hope that my trust in them will rise.
Odd.
I expected this to be quite longer. There were more people who found their way into my thoughts, but I could not find any words to write for these people. Maybe a later time will change that.
Either way, feel free to ask who any specific verse pertains to - as well as ask what they mean, if they apply to you personally. I took quite a bit of time on most of these.
I've decided to do nothing but write, starting now, about anyone whose name pops into my head.
I won't name who it is. Feel free to find me on AIM (sixpackreich) if you think a verse pertains to you, or if you are curious who a specific verse pertains to. There are no secrets.
Read on.
For two years I considered you my closest friend,
I believed that the bond between us couldn't break or bend,
Little did I know this is how it would end,
I really don't know just how you intend
To fend for yourself, without me to lend
An ear or a thought, or the time that I'd spend,
Or the hand I'd extend to just try to amend
The issues between us, the one I called "friend."
In much less time, another has come and done the same,
Turned around and left just the way she came,
Disappeared during the chaos when I was putting out the flames
Of a side of me that I never bothered to label with a name,
Thought everything I did was just a sick part of a game,
Believed I was wild, when all I did was collected and tame,
Maybe one day she'll figure out that I'm not the one to blame,
Unimportant are their names - to me they're both the same.
Even quicker than those before, this one left her mark on my heart,
Should have known it was a disaster from the start,
Fell under the false notion that she'd understand my art,
Within just a few months our ways would part,
Just as her emotions turned, so will this verse,
Even though the words she chose were cold and terse,
They're not even close to the pain from what's worse -
The fact that it was those words in which I immersed.
I'm able to move on from these without a single tear,
Because of the lessons learned from a guide through the years,
Never letting me turn and run, pushing me to face the fears,
But never chose to interfere, to take the wheel and steer,
When words fell on deaf ears, this one would still hear,
Without them, life would not have led me here,
Always meaning in their words, even if at first not clear,
Contain most of the concepts in life which I still hope to mirror.
Another face has joined the picture in recent times,
One whom I hope finds the hidden meaning in these rhymes,
Regardless of how little I know of the mind behind those eyes,
I'm willing to risk the chance that what I've seen is a disguise,
And no matter how many times I'm told it's unwise,
Ignoring the amount of logic this decision defies,
I'll answer all questions, with nothing hidden, when they arise,
Hope that my trust in them will rise.
Odd.
I expected this to be quite longer. There were more people who found their way into my thoughts, but I could not find any words to write for these people. Maybe a later time will change that.
Either way, feel free to ask who any specific verse pertains to - as well as ask what they mean, if they apply to you personally. I took quite a bit of time on most of these.
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