Vertex Form - March 12th, 2009

For those curious about the title of this post, yes, it's a math joke, because this post is not in standard form, and if we are discussing quadratics, then it must be in vertex form.

For some, this is a warning, for others, an explanation, and for the rest, something nigh-incomprehensible.

The fire in my eyes right now is a good thing. Don't try to limit, or extinguish, or contain it. Doing so is only going to hurt both sides. I have places to go, things to drive towards, and what you perceive as anger is simply intensity being my motivation towards these goals. Those of you who have not experienced this sort of feeling will never fully understand it, but I expect you to respect me as I pursue it.

I've stayed patient and found things I need to work towards, and come April, there's not going to be anything - or anyone - holding me back. I'm currently shedding those who I feel are bringing my progress back, and I'm pretty sure there's none left to get rid of. Those who couldn't - no. Those who REFUSED to understand my words have been removed. I tolerated you long enough and don't feel anything more needs to be said.

With that said (COUGH EXCUSE THE PUN COUGH), I've settled pretty much every ghost that was still around. There's a couple that will always be around, but those are irremovable. Right now I have today and the future to focus on, and when I'm presented opportunities to look back to these past events, I will do so in an objective manner. In order to do that, I need to let them die for a bit and let the bias of the situation fade with it. Learning subjectively can be faulty and fatal, and I intend to avoid that with these most recent lessons.

So yes, this is a rant.

No, it doesn't make sense. Was it supposed to?

No, it wasn't.

It's more a statement to myself, and at the same time, a statement to all - the motivation is returning, and to quote Operation:Mindcrime...

"Gonna make this city bleed."

Obviously, the quote isn't meant in the same context. I do have two more, the first of which has just been throwing me a new perspective on things - not changing everything, but giving me a new lens...

"The art of life is, without rushing, without faltering, unraveling the secrets of knowledge, we must defeat and conquer our four natural enemies - fear, clarity, power, and the desire to rest."

And the third being one which usually gets my head back up after I've screwed something up.

"Time and time again we fall into the depths of who we are, but you can't keep running away from what you're trying to find."

The rant is done, now it's the ramble.

I came up with a new concept this week - the Paradoxymoron. Good Grief, for example, falls under this category. Sometimes we have to undergo grief in order to obtain experience - thus being the good. Common knowledge dubs this an oxymoron - but it cannot be because situations exist where the grief is good. See? Paradoxymoron.

Aww hell, that makes no sense. I guess I'm the Paradoofus.

Well, I'm heading to sleep. It's been an awfully odd month so far. And it's only going to get stranger.