July 30th, 2008 - "Frozen House of Wax"

Please, please, try to understand,
Difficult for me to show you my hands,
Fearing that you will not see the scars,
Tears in my eyes, gleaming like stars,
Both disappear as the sun rises again.

Hand fell into the pan as I flew off the handle,
Impossible to heal, trying to light a frozen candle,
Will never succeed, instead will always fail,
A castle constructed with well-rusted nails,
Appearing strong, in reality, a house of cards.

Stare straight into my eyes, brave one,
See these things I've said and done,
See the shame, the pride, the perceived modesty,
Look past that and find the fear of honesty,
This castle has a pure basis of lies.

The lies from those whom I've destroyed,
Have built this place completely devoid,
Of windows, doors, or even a gate,
But I refuse to resign myself to the fate,
That it shall fall like a house of cards.

Take my poisoned truth and keep it alive,
Just waiting for my second wind to arrive,
Wishing that you'd show me truth's not a ghost,
Just because I am less trusting than most,
Is that enough reason to break this glass heart,
To prove to me what I have known from the start,
That melding with me would tear anyone apart?

Sick, Twisted, Evil, Wrong, July 6th, 2008

"You're sick."
It's a sentence I hear whenever I plan,
Every time I choose to destroy those who ran,
Every calculated move I make,
Every analyzed step I take -
It's all just "Sick."

"You're twisted."
The phrase I hear when you learn my motive,
To completely alter the way these people live,
Not content until we raise the stakes,
By the end your fear will make you shake,
I'm completely "twisted."

"You're evil."
The words I hear at every turn,
The opposite, a fact they'll never learn,
For I destroy to let them rebuild,
Minds don't reincarnate till the old is killed,
I must be "evil."

"You're wrong."
The two syllables, nothing short of truthless,
My determination comes off as simply ruthless,
Don't criticize and try to stop what you don't understand,
Don't challenge - you don't want to see me make a stand,
I'm never "wrong."

"Neither Time Nor Lies Will Stop Us" June 26, 2008

Immortalized within that single camera shutter,
Is the realization that I'll never need another,
Watch the butterflies in your eyes start to flutter,
See the words in my throat begin to stutter,
As your smile cuts through the pain and clears away the clutter,
Looking in my eyes you'll see I wouldn't have it any other
Way than to have you be the one that's always on my mind,
Be the inspiration behind each of these very lines,
The only one I need to think of to develop all these rhymes,
No matter what's going on, when I'm in your arms I'm fine,
We lose ourselves in each other, lose all sense of time,
But even time wouldn't understand the feelings we hold inside,
No matter the words they say, forget their countless lies,
It's my heart that's my drive, that knows that I want you to be mine,
It's not up to them, the now and future is only for us to decide,
It's not their place to tell us who should be the one by our side,
What we've got is one of a kind, something those fools will never find,
Every word of what I write still feels so right,
Even though it hasn't even been forty nights,
It still feels like I've known you all my life,
Every time I see you the world is once again bright,
Even though the time I've known you has been so slight,
It still feels like I've known you all my life.

"Unfinished Scream", June 14th, 2008.

Where do we go from here?
The dreams you won't give up on
Kill the dreams my sights are set on.
Can't influence what you decide,
Have to keep all the fears inside,
Find a place for my thoughts to hide.
Can't shake the feeling that I'm an aside,
Something to add to the thrill of the ride,
Until you cross to the next waves of the tide.
I'll be left here, alone and stranded,
Unable to swim in this sea, I'll be abandoned,
Won't make it there if you're waiting at the shore.

"Riverside" - May 18th, 2008

Giving up this part of me
Shatter it so you can be
Happy and free as the fish at sea,
While my nights alone, you can't see,
The sinking feeling just won't cease,
My heart's not an apartment lease,
Spend some time there then up and leave,
You're turning the page, I'm lost in the crease,
You had this total shell of mine breached,
You had been were no one else had reached,
Each of us, so much to learn, so much to teach,
I saw it, and clung to it, becoming a leech,
Digging this hole of mine deeper with each
Passing day, no matter how much I beg and plead,
Within these words which I've no doubt you'll read,
No matter how much my soul leaks and bleeds,
It's the pain like this upon which my closed heart feeds,
I'm always subject to everyone else's needs,
Your whims the wind to my river's reeds,
Left alone to wish to be plucked from the weeds.

"Eclipsing Eyes" - May 18th, 2008

Watch the solar eclipse within these eyes,
Watch those portals become my disguise,
Those pools of emotion becoming blocks of ice.

Close my mind and watch just with my eyes,
Rule out the chance that your words are lies,
Stop thinking that each sentence is my demise.

Cool off the fire of passion in these eyes,
Hope that every shred of tension dies,
Do everything which my mind denies.

Turn off the thoughts behind my eyes,
Free the spirit and let it guide,
Hold on to happiness and let seriousness fly.

"Digitice" May 18th, 2008

It's bitter, icy cold in here,
My soul an unstoppable air conditioner,
Never letting me feel secure.

Everything starts to feel numb inside,
The tears all turn to ice,
As the eyes turn to screens to relive the lies.

It's those memories of the crushing pain,
That gives you that fear that I'm not fully sane,
Something's wrong inside me, something without a name.

I don't want to be the empty frame I've been,
I want to be good enough again,
Not have to remember what they did to me back then.

Wish I could give you my heart, but I know it's not fair
When you aren't ready to give away love, to share
The feelings I have when my eyes meet your stare.

But I want you happy, and if that's what it means,
To keep these kinds of words behind the scenes,
Then I'll keep the thoughts of us in my dreams.

Just until you're ready to start something real,
Ready to share these things that I feel,
And break open the loving hearts that we've both sealed.

"Ancient Cassette" May 16th, 2008

We're left to resign
To the fact that we define
Everyone by the rage we design
In our minds
The tape unwinds
When we try to rewind
To hear what we missed when our souls were blind.

We outline
What's underlined
In the past where the hurt's confined
The only release when our hearts align
Keep saying we're fine
Following the everyday line
Of a future so maligned
That we lose sight of what's inside

It's yours, it's mine
This frozen heart for the longest time
Melt it down and find its rhymes
Let the glow that we share shine
Light up this place in which I reside
Take the feeling I've always denied
Make it yours if you'll be mine.

"Ignorance Inversion" May 14th, 2008

In this inverted world, where angels rise from darkness and demons fall from light,
Where we sleep away the days and design ourselves at night,
Where the blind cannot hear, and the deaf have no sight,
Where all we thought was wrong becomes right,
There you and I lie, unchanged, holding the other tight.

Ignorant fools will fight around us, trying to destroy what isn't there,
Blind to our existence, there's not a life they will spare,
We'll be there to see the end, protected by the thoughts we share,
Guarding the bond between us, so real itself - it's rare,
Our gazes never breaking, neither one of us is scared.

This connection we share is without a name,
But our reluctance to release it is near the same,
The world tosses concepts around as if a child's game,
Destroyed "love" with no regret or shame,
Then scanning the earth for a face to blame.

But this sick and twisted world, with the venom of a snake,
Will soon find out that these stares will never break,
The connection of our hearts is something they can't take,
The firmness in our souls is the one thing they can't shake,
And we'll be the survivors when our lives are at stake.

"Transparency", May 14th, 2008

Like watching a blown-glass angel in the way of a sledgehammer,
Knowing that none of your silent crystalline tears can save her,
Wishing you could hold her, and take each blow that's struck,
Those guards, her defenses, seemingly keeping you stuck,
Forcing you to watch as she's smashed, piece by piece, bit by bit,
Each of the sounds ringing in your ears, can no longer handle it,
You know if you reach her, you'll be shot dead at the scene,
So you stare onward at her gaze, so peaceful, so serene,
Until all that is left is her eyes, it's obscene,
The crowds will disperse, then the guards will leave,
Leaving those eyes as the pieces to receive,
You'll take all those tears that you held inside,
Give them to her to restore all her pride,
Bring back the feelings that she believed died,
In doing so, showing what you've tried to hide,
At this point it's her choice, no words you can say,
Whether with you is the place she will stay,
Or take her new wings, and fly further away.